|Dating Guide For Geeks|
FOR GEEKS (v1.0.0)
This guide is meant to give geeks some tips on how to attract women which aren't related to the Bearded Lady. It comes with no guarantee, and by reading further you agree that I won't be held responsible for any idiocies you commit because of it.
Also, this is not a guide to dating geeks. If you are dating a geek and/or are looking for tips on how to do it, this guide isn't for you.
If you've got suggestions, additions or comments, please send
them to email@example.com.
I'll be updating this guide as often as time permits.
PART 1 - HOW TO DETERMINE IF YOU'RE A GEEK
To determine if you're a geek, read the following statements and see how many apply to you. The more you check off, the bigger your geek factor.
These are just sample questions. If you are a geek, you won't pick up on a trend in them - this is probably the ultimate indication that you should read this guide.
The next sections will provide you with hints on how to be less
of a geek.
PART 2 - PERSONAL HYGIENE
This section will only give you hints on how to be less of a geek. It's very unlikely that you'll get rid of the geek in you for ever - the best you can do is conceal the fact that you are one. Let's start with personal hygiene. Women dig guys who have a nice haircut, don't smell like a sweaty horse's ass on a particularly hot day, and who keep their face and body clean. Here are some tips on each of these areas:
PART 3 - WARDROBE
This is a really complicated area and deserves another guide by itself. The only tip that I can give you is WATCH AND LEARN. Look to see what men who have no difficulty attracting women are wearing. Make a note of what they all have in common (similar materials, similar cuts, similar patterns, similar labels, etc) and then visit a department store or two. Try on each of the items, making sure the size is correct. Bring your sister or someone else who can judge better than you to get an honest opinion on the fit and match (to you and to the rest of the wardrobe) of the item.
Also, please keep in mind
that the way you dress tells a lot about you (and I'm not talking about the geek-oriented
meaning-of-colours text file
which is floating around the
internet). People judge the book by its cover when it comes to clothes, and are
correct most of the time, so look sharp.
PART 4 - MUSIC
There is no such thing as bad taste in music. It only becomes bad when it's shared with others. Most of my favorite performers don't get commercial air time, and people scratch their heads when they check my CD collection. If you've got a similar problem, or don't even have a CD collection, you can visit www.audiofind.com to download the most popular mp3s (assuming this is legal where you live).
Here's where being a geek is actually to your advantage - your computer is probably hooked up to your stereo system, so you can transfer the songs directly to tape. If you've got a CD burner, you can convert the songs to wav format and write them to a CD so you can listen to it in your car. If you're a true geek, you already have an mp3 player installed in your car.
If the stereo system in your car sounds like an alarm clock, please don't crank it up. If it sounds as if George Lucas set it up himself, feel free to broadcast your new song collection to the world.
The volume at which you're listening at depends on where you're going and who you're with. Some women don't even like to listen to music in the car. Here are a few sample situations to tell you what your volume setting should be.
PART 5 - HUMAN CONTACT
Once you have your wardrobe, music and personal hygiene under control, you're ready for human contact. Here are a few things to consider:
Sometimes, during a conversation, you'll be tempted to say something that you think is funny. If the timing is right and the joke is funny, it will get a good reception. However, I don't suggest relying on one liners as a method of gaining popularity. You are bound to say one which won't quite make it...
The point of all human contact is
to sell yourself. If you have a positive attitude, are polite and funny, it will
PART 6 - ASKING SOMEONE OUT
If you've managed to sell yourself, half the work of asking someone out is already done. The other half is timing your question. Your gut will tell you when the moment is right - seize it then, because you'll never know the answer if you don't ask.
The words which you use don't
really matter - a simple "Would you go out with me?" is often enough. If
you really want to butter up your target, arrive with some flowers or chose a romantic
PART 7 - DATING
Dating is a great way to find out more about the woman you're interested in. Traditionally, a guy would ask a girl out by Wednesday for a date on Friday or Saturday night. The date would consist of a dinner and a movie, and would include her aunt as a chaperone.
These days, a less formal approach can be used. If you don't want to emphasize the fact that you're on a date, ask her out to do something casual, like go for coffee or ice cream, depending on the season. You can also ask her at the second-to-last minute to join you for lunch or brunch. These are all get-to-know-you type of activities. The possibilities are endless, so put your imagination in overdrive.
If both of you had a terrific time on the date, then you may consider chasing her full-time. If either or both of you were miserable, it was probably not meant to be...
PART 8 - HANDLING A RELATIONSHIP
A good relationship is based on mutual trust and understanding of the partner's needs. (God that sounds professional - maybe I've missed my calling as Dr. Laura). To understand each other, you'll need to talk - A LOT. And don't just talk about current events. Say what makes you happy, what makes you sad, what you like, what you think blows squirrels, etc. This will prevent any emotional build-ups and encourage honesty, which is needed to www.lop trust.
Sex in a relationship is a privilege, so don't abuse it. It should be a mutual decision which was discussed prior to the event in question. Most of the time, sex doesn't make the relationship any easier, or solve problems - if anything, it just adds another area to take care of in the relationship.
As your relationship grows, don't be tempted to change your life around to see your flame as much as possible. You might come off as a stalker or as an obsessed and/or deprived freak. Spend some time with your computer, with your friends, doing whatever you did before you got into a relationship.
If all goes well (and it never does), you'll both live happily for a long time. There will probably be some problems to work out, but if you get past them, more power to you.
A section about breaking up in a dating guide? Have I gone bananas? Not really. Sometimes the women you've been chasing for a long time turns out to be perfect (as expected) with a few minor details to work out - that's what relationships are for. However, if the woman you're dating turns out to be:
you may want to end the relationship. Breaking up is never easy - it's sort of like admitting you've made a mistake in your choice of woman. You may start questioning your taste, your goals and your standards.
It's also not easy on the woman who's about to be dumped. To avoid extra headaches, cut all contact for a while after breaking up. Concentrate on doing other things, like coding velcroglove.c so you can finally mount /www.sheep. On a serious note, the best way to stop thinking about her is by getting involved in whatever you were doing before you decided to spend that time on a woman.
PART 10 - FAQ
Q: Does this
Q: Do you follow
everything in this guide?
Q: How do I know
this guide will work for me?
Q: Did you
include all your secrets in the guide?
A big thanks goes out all the
geeks I know for inspiring me to write this guide, to my sisters for constantly reminding
me about the things that women like, and to Dogman for compiling the list of AOL Geeks.
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